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When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
I don’t know if I have a stalker, but if I do, could you drop off some milk. Thanks.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.