Daily Silly Status

Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.

Maybe vodka is addicted to me

PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.

Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.

This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.

Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there

I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.

I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...

likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.

If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.

It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.

No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.

What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?

Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.

I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.