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Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
Awkward moment when you don’t know if you were offered gum out of generosity or if your breath stinks.
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??