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I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly