Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.