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Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.