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Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.