Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.