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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.