Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember, an easily stolen ADT security sign placed on your lawn is the first line of defense against crime.
Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
I’m in my dentist’s waiting room practicing my lies about flossing.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke