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WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
There is no time to check time