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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
I love giving orders. My favorite is "Another one. And make it a double."
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.