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Haters are my motivators(:
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?