Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.