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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we`re all millionaires, none of this matters."
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling