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Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.