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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it “selective participation.”
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinky head that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.