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Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
High fiving was the original "like".
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data