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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you’d like to put in on Monday.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.