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The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver