Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
My panic room is a walk-in beer cooler at the liquor store.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
I want to take this moment to thank the depends adult diaper company for allowing me to play my video game for a strait 8 hours uninterupted...