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Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
It`s not stalking if you love them!
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of