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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
I never get nervous or embarrassed. That`s just some sh*t that sober people who leave the house have to worry about.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?