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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
When dealing with women, you can either be right or get laid. You can`t have both.