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I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.