Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
My problem is that all food is comfort food
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Being an adult is mostly waiting to leave places you didn`t want to go to in the first place.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party