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I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
Do bees even have knees?
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
My life coach just benched me.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.