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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
Money can buy imitation happiness. Iām cool with that.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
Iām just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?