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Exercise? More like extra fries.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?