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Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.