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We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"