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Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers