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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
You know that button in the elevator with the fireman´s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a fireman´s hat.