Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-