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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
This century is already 15% over.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.