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If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…