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that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....