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I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
When the zombie apocalypse hits, I know EXACTLY who I`m tripping first...
Exercise? More like extra fries.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business