Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
I think I may be getting harder to love.
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.