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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I always take a number at the deli, and I`ve been keeping them.... Eventually I`ll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
wants to rock and roll all night
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!