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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.