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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears