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Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
There is nothing more annoying than a couple who just got back from vacation.
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Oh look, it`s raining outside. I think I`ll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don`t have a window of their own.
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
sleep is for people without netflix
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.