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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
Unless you are selling Thin Mints, don’t ever knock on my door.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them