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I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing off everyone is fun and easy.
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.