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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0))) I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fat bitch know how many chins she has.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!