Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
I read my kids a few select facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, "This is why we have to stay in school"
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
I`m perfect you adjust.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.