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You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
I have found my sleep number and it is eleven, eleven beers.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.