Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
Sorry, I didn`t get your text...Just kidding, I ignored that sh!t.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Just ONCE I`d like someone to call me "sir" without adding "this is a place of business, please put your pants back on."
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.