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It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
Like a stoned man once said, I can`t remember.
If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......