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My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
I`m going to hell in every religion!
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
Just got rid of 150lbs of ugly fat ... Got divorced.