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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
Insert coin to view my status message.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
The other night, I posted on Facebook I was going to sleep shirtless. The next day I logged on and saw 7 mosquitoes "like" this.