Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.