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Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria`s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be "your sexiest year ever."
They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.