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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"