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The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.