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Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
I`m not sure where you learned to whisper but I`m guessing inside a helicopter surrounded by f*cking chainsaws.
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
If your dog takes a dump on your floor and you clean it up, who owns who??
Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
bras are booby-traps
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?