Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
My pants are 75% off.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
Can you imagine how sexy I`d be if I ate right and took care of my body... I`m not going to, but can you imagine
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)